A little break…with vision humor!

As most of you know, finding a COVID vaccine as a 16+ individual isn’t easy. We thought you might need a laugh to take your mind off of it. So this blog we wanted to show off some vision humor!!!

Jokes about glasses:

1. I think you are spectacular!
2. Why did the phone wear glasses? Because it lost all its contacts.
3. Husband: I think I’m find, I don’t need glasses.
   Wife: Well, considering you’re about to make a phone call with the TV remote, yes!
4. Mom: Sorry I missed your call, I was at an eye appointment
   Son: Eye see.
   Mom: you still got it.
   Son: What can I say? I’m your star pupil.
   Mom: okay, that is enough, got do dishes
   Son: Iris didn’t have to do the dishes

Mom: Stop!

Son: Sorry, my jokes just keep getting Cornea

5. No, I’m sorry… I don’t have a prescription lens that can make your husband look like Channing Tatum.
6. You may be getting old when you have to wear you glasses in the shower to shave your legs!
7. A man walks into an eye clinic.
   Man: I think my vision is blurry and I may need glasses.
   Associate: Oh you need glasses for sure!
   Man: (perplexed) how can you know that without testing me?
   Associate: Because this is a bank, Sir.

COVID/2020 Vision Jokes

1. No one is making 2020 vision jokes anymore. I guess they lost sight of it.
2. Do you remember all those jokes made in 2019 about having 2020 vision? Well, you know what they say about hindsight.
3. With all the jokes about having 2020 vision in 2020, I bet no one saw this coming.
4. In 2020 we are going to have an entire year of bad puns about vision. I can see it clearly.
5. A man goes in for an eye exam. The optician asks him what he can see. “I see empty airports, empty football grounds, closed theaters and bars.” The optician responds, you’ve got 2020 vision!
6. Last year showed us that nobody had 2020 vision. Because no one saw it coming.
7. When I predicated this pandemic ahead of time everyone but my optician said I was nuts. He told me I have 2020 vision!
8. Enough of these 2020 vision jokes, I don’t want to make a spectacle of myself.
9. I could not have predicted how this year was going to go. I guess I don’t have 2020 vision.

Eye Jokes

1. When you’re old you don’t have stars in your eyes, it’s called cataracts
2. Two men golfing…
   First Man: My eyes are not as good as they use to be, did you see where my ball went?
   Second Man: I did, but I can’t remember
3. If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.
4. Out of all my body parts my eyes are the best shape. I do at least a thousand eye rolls a day!
5. Now if you’ll read the “eyes-in-the-back-of-your-head chart, I’ll check your mom vision”

Other Vision Jokes

1. First Friend: Since I turned 40, I can’t read the fine print on the shampoo bottle anymore.
   Second Friend: That’s nothing. Last week I stopped the car in the middle of the road for 15 minutes to let a hedgehog cross the street. Then I realized it was a pinecone.
2. Me on the Maury show… “You claim that you never sleep in your contact lenses. According to your corneas that was a lie!”
3. Why are eye doctors so smart? Because they were good pupils.
4. Clark Kent never needs a babysitter because He had super vision!
5. If I could have one superpower, it would be x-ray vision. My one fault is that I never see things through!
6. At what elevation is your vision the best? See Level.
7. Carrots may improve your vision, but alcohol doubles it.
8. As a long time glasses user, I love when people say “wow you look so much better without wearing your glasses” to which I always respond, “why thank you, you’re looking so much better as well when I’m not wearing them”